Be Your Own Biggest Fan: Positive Self-Talk in Training

Every parent wants to see their child grow more confident. In our classes, one of the ways we work toward that goal is simple to say and surprisingly hard to practice: we teach students to encourage themselves.

The idea behind it is that the voice we hear most often is our own. During training, that voice can work for a student or against them. A student who is struggling with a technique, feeling nervous, or comparing themselves to others can easily become their own biggest enemy. The message we share with students is that they can choose a different role. We want them to be the biggest fan of themselves, not the biggest enemy.

Why do we put so much emphasis on this? Because if a student does not talk positively to themselves, it is hard for anyone else to fill that gap. Instructors and family will always be there to encourage them, and we will gladly keep doing that. But the person who is with a student in every moment of practice, every challenge, and every small effort is the student. That inner voice is always present, so it matters what it says.

What does this look like on the mat? It means helping students notice how they speak to themselves when something feels difficult. It means gently steering that voice toward support rather than criticism. Encouragement from an instructor is valuable, and encouragement a student gives themselves is something they can carry with them wherever they go.

That is where the benefit extends beyond training. The habit of being on your own side is not limited to martial arts. A child who learns to encourage themselves has a tool for any situation where they feel unsure, whether that is something new, something hard, or something that simply takes patience.

What you can take away as a parent:

1. Notice how your child talks about themselves when something is difficult. Their inner voice often shows up in their words. 2. Encourage them to be their own biggest fan, rather than their own biggest enemy. 3. Remind them that your support and ours is always there, and that the support they give themselves is just as important.

Confidence grows when students learn that they do not have to wait for someone else to believe in them. We will always cheer them on, and we also want them to learn to cheer for themselves.